unfolding

i don't have the energy for capital letters tonight.  

the picture for this post is left for you to draw.

recently, i've been internally captivated.  mentally housecleaning, so to speak.  if spring is for opening the windows and cleaning the house, then fall is for opening your mind and cleaning out the mess.  it's a natural preparation for settling into warm cozy thoughts for the winter.  

and for me, it's shed light on what will soon become a familiar soft glow.  but right now, it's shining in my eyes and somewhat temporarily blinding me.  i'm captivated, and consumed.  i'm more present to my thoughts than ever before, yet so strangely distant from who i really am.  i'm searching, but i already know the answer.  

the thoughts in my mind are wrestling back and forth.  one day completed thoughts are pinned down, and then the next day, they're walking around again.  finding permanence and conclusions with wrestling thoughts is nearly impossible.  

but it's the process of wrestling that is the labor for the birth of new beginnings.  it's like new leaves unfolding in the early warmth of the spring sunlight.  it's a struggle between holding tight and letting go.  holding tight, though it requires a mighty strength, is often easier than letting go because knowing that you're capable of surviving in a tender state of newness is completely frightening.  

you see, growth is not an all or nothing thing.  it's a gradual process that starts with nothing and ends with everything, but happens one step at a time.  and unless it is touched by opposition, it never stops in the middle.  and eternal growth can never be stopped by opposition, only delayed. 

the tenderness of new growth needs to be handled delicately

words that once soothed, now leave bold impressions.

be gentle.

let new growth breathe-

to soak in the light

and the rain

and strengthen.

newness in any form is vulnerable;

handle it with care.

with growth comes pain-

boundaries are pushed outward,

depths become deeper,

everything stretches.

growth can not be planned,

or fully controlled-

it must unfold on it's own.

let go completely

don't hold back.

if something is growing,

don't worry,

it means it's being properly fed.

growth is good.

when you are growing, you feel it

but others see it.

listen to it.

learn from it.

then let go.

and enjoy the fragrance of the fully unfolded bloom.