organically thinking

caution: mind cleaning isn't as easy as house cleaning.  progress isn't as easily noticed and the amount of clutter that still needs tending to lurks out of sight until it spontaneously catapults itself front and center, usually at the most inopportune time.  however, the results of mind cleaning are exponentially longer lasting than mopping floors....and that sounds like a good deal to me!

over the past two weeks, i've experienced multiple episodes of spotlight thoughts presenting themselves in the midst of a busy day, temporarily blinding my mind.  when these thoughts surface, they need attention.  captive attention.  they beg for audience participation.  sometimes these thoughts won't even reveal their identity until you give them enough of your time.  they are feisty little buggers...expecting a bit of a chase before they'll let you come to terms with what they're saying.  

and so, i let go.

letting go allows growth to happen.  i let go of preconceived notions.  i let go of expectations.  i let go of being judged or misinterpreted.  i open my mind and take in the new things life presents everyday.  if your roots are firmly planted, then the leaves of your mind will only grow within the nature of what they're being fed. 

after my mental housekeeping, my mind is clearer than ever before.  and you know what?  when your mind is clear, you can take in so much more.  i'm not kidding when tell you that i can even smell more vividly now.  it's unreal.  i can handle more without being bogged down.  every experience is more meaningful and an opportunity to grow. 

in the tenderness of the clear mind that i now have, i have adopted an organic way of thinking.  just like eating organically, it's a matter of being able to experience life more fully while continually removing toxins or anything that would stunt my growth or kill the vibrant thoughts in my mind.  it's not a matter of sheltering myself....quite the opposite, actually....its a way to experience more with the ability to decide what takes residence in my mind.  we live in a real world.  it's not organic....or even really clean, for that matter.  but it's real.  and never to i want to separate myself from reality.  ok, maybe i'd LIKE to, but i'll leave that for my daydreams. 

thinking organically is the ability to take in a little shit without getting covered in mud.  and because there are no growth hormones, pesticides or fertilizers, it requires a bit more tending to.  you can't be afraid to get into the depths of your thoughts to do a little gardening.  some days you'll need to prune away overgrown thoughts, some days you'll need to add more nutrients to institute new growth, and other days, it's just about smelling the flowers.  organically minded people know their mental gardens well.

i've never been happier.....or more in tune with my children, my husband or the world around me.   i am living in the present moment, and yet preparing the soil for exciting things yet to grow.  

i smile a lot easier.  

i love a lot deeper.  

and my feet can barely touch the ground!  

“The world has genetically modified opinions, but mine are organic. 

Taste them and you will see.
”
― Jarod Kintz

unfolding

i don't have the energy for capital letters tonight.  

the picture for this post is left for you to draw.

recently, i've been internally captivated.  mentally housecleaning, so to speak.  if spring is for opening the windows and cleaning the house, then fall is for opening your mind and cleaning out the mess.  it's a natural preparation for settling into warm cozy thoughts for the winter.  

and for me, it's shed light on what will soon become a familiar soft glow.  but right now, it's shining in my eyes and somewhat temporarily blinding me.  i'm captivated, and consumed.  i'm more present to my thoughts than ever before, yet so strangely distant from who i really am.  i'm searching, but i already know the answer.  

the thoughts in my mind are wrestling back and forth.  one day completed thoughts are pinned down, and then the next day, they're walking around again.  finding permanence and conclusions with wrestling thoughts is nearly impossible.  

but it's the process of wrestling that is the labor for the birth of new beginnings.  it's like new leaves unfolding in the early warmth of the spring sunlight.  it's a struggle between holding tight and letting go.  holding tight, though it requires a mighty strength, is often easier than letting go because knowing that you're capable of surviving in a tender state of newness is completely frightening.  

you see, growth is not an all or nothing thing.  it's a gradual process that starts with nothing and ends with everything, but happens one step at a time.  and unless it is touched by opposition, it never stops in the middle.  and eternal growth can never be stopped by opposition, only delayed. 

the tenderness of new growth needs to be handled delicately

words that once soothed, now leave bold impressions.

be gentle.

let new growth breathe-

to soak in the light

and the rain

and strengthen.

newness in any form is vulnerable;

handle it with care.

with growth comes pain-

boundaries are pushed outward,

depths become deeper,

everything stretches.

growth can not be planned,

or fully controlled-

it must unfold on it's own.

let go completely

don't hold back.

if something is growing,

don't worry,

it means it's being properly fed.

growth is good.

when you are growing, you feel it

but others see it.

listen to it.

learn from it.

then let go.

and enjoy the fragrance of the fully unfolded bloom.  

 

 

Time for Tea

Is it me or does the calendar have a downward slope.....with the steepest decline between the months of September to December?  

It's true, the older you get, the faster time flies.  And I definitely think that's true for calendar years as well.  September, October, November and December fly by almost as fast as the entire month of January.  

In my opinion, each year seems to take about three months to get acquainted....a gentle nice to meet ya, so to speak.  The weather is at it's coldest, we are comfortable with routine and refreshed from the time off for the holidays.  

Then comes spring.  And we all take time to stop and smell the flowers and enjoy the newness of life.  We notice the birds singing louder and the flowers blooming brighter.   And the increased warmth of the sun is eagerly welcomed.  

The heat of summer naturally slows us down to a darn near halt!  We sit longer.  And put more ice cubes in our drinks.  Routines are called off and more time is spent with friends.  And then boom! the sound of the Fourth of July fireworks is really the starting gun for that calendar to start tipping.  The rest of the summer slides past no matter how hard we try to grip each day.  

Ready or not, the calendar tilts and dumps us on the fast track to December.  

Back to school, arrival of Fall and high hopes of cooler weather, Halloween, Thanksgiving and then Christmas!  Woah!!  Our minds begin to whirl.  Our weekends are booked.  And on top of it all, we are somehow trying to decide what to put on the kids for a Halloween costume, who's cooking the Thanksgiving turkey, just how we're going to decorate our homes for Christmas, what gifts are going to who this year, where we'll spend Christmas morning, and how there will be enough days in the week, much less hours in the day to accomplish it all. 

They say if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.  I guess that's how we manage to get so much done in that last quarter of the year.  

So, here I sit, barely remembering what day it is, much less what month it is, when the daunting reality hits me that the calendar just changed to October!  A few weeks ago, I was writing the date on a form, and the lady next to me was appalled that I had written 16, because clearly the date was already the 19th!  What rock do I live under? 

Well, no matter what keeps in the slow lane on the highway of life, I like it here.  My neighbors know to call if the world is ending, or a hurricane's coming.  The sky gets dark each night so I remember to sleep.  And my dog barks when he's hungry.  I'm good. 

Seriously, though. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, I set my priority high to take time out for tea.  Just to sit long enough to drink it before it gets cold balances the temptation to catapult my mind into a psychotic type of warp speed thinking.  And when my mind is balanced, my life seems less likely to tip.  

In that time set by the heat of the tea,  my world realigns.  Sometimes I write, sometimes I read Scriptures, sometimes I have a chat, sometimes I send out thoughts from my heart in emails to friends and family, sometimes I just sit still and stare into space and sometimes I just browse the things online that I have been meaning to look up.  But every time is time well spent. 

"Drink your tea slowly and reverently, 

as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - 

slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future." 

 ~Thich Nat Hahn

Care for a cup of tea?