falling

as an equinox baby, i'm well aware that fall doesn't officially begin until the 22st of this month, but i am already falling.  

at least in my mind.

i'm pretending it's already fall.  pretending the air is already crisp, the windows are open and the curtains are blowing in the breeze.  ok, so i don't have curtains...i'm pretending that part, too.  (but i totally have plans...and fabric...to make them...so that counts a little.)

when you pretend that it's already fall and that there's a chill in the air, the slightest cloud cover is enough inspiration to cook all day in the kitchen in order to make the most glorious batch of butternut crab soup you've ever made.    


i'm falling.

falling deeper in love with familiar people and things in my life and falling in brand spankin' new love with recently made friends and otherwise unfavorable things. 

developing within me is a deeper appreciation for home cooked simple meals...and the process it takes to achieve that.  i'm falling into the habit of grabbing any nearby writing utensil....be it a pen, a marker, a crayon or a keyboard.  my hands are on it and words are being written....words that are falling from my mind, practically.  

i'm falling deeper in love with the most loveliest people and family in my life...my husband, my children, my friends both five minutes away and five hours on a plane away.  if you are talking to me, texting me, or sending smoke signals my way....i'm listening like i've never listened before.  i'm falling in love with your words. 

speaking of words...i'm falling in love with the new music i'm finding on pandora....and even purchasing enough of it to make a darn good mixed cd for friends.  

and what's not to love about new love?  two nieces were born this week, and a nephew is on his way next month...my first nephew, that is.

that's some brand spankin' new love.  

next month, a sister joins the family when she marries my husband's brother.  new love.  and born through multiple layers of technology is a soul mate of mine in Australia....er, i mean 'Straya.  i've always known part of my heart was there.  always.  and now that  i've found it,  i'm falling into new depths of my heart.

as far as those unfavorable things?  yes.  i'm falling captive to the look of freshly folded towels....even if they're on the back of my sofa.  my kids have begun to excitedly offer their assistance in folding the laundry, and so a mundane chore falls into a fun morning activity by turning up the music, and turning off the cares.   

i'm falling in love with new things tucked in the grocery isles because my kids now express their opinions as to what goes in our shopping cart.  their opinions are like sweet music to my ears.  i'm falling in love with their minds. 

i'm also falling back in step with jogs around my neighborhood.  as one who doesn't like to exercise...much less sweat...each step made is a complete surrender to the fact that life after thirty...ahem...five...comes with a rapidly falling metabolism.  

i'm falling.  

i'm falling away from the person i used to be.  as layers of life build upon my skin, my seasoning is changing.  like a cast iron skillet, i've become weathered and some things don't stick as easily.  i don't get as hung up on the little things that used to irritate me, and at the same time,  my heart is spilling out more clairvoyantly than ever before.  i enjoy each moment, and don't worry about the next.... i'll find a way to enjoy that one, too.  

i'm falling more towards being the person i want to be rather that the person the world wants me to be....even if that involves some mix-matched outfits and cowboy boots.  


i'm falling. 

into a new chapter of life.....and loving the new freedom of this fall.  freedom to enjoy my daughter one on one for the first time in her three and a half years of life.  freedom to have a place for my words to fall when my mind gets full, and materials for which my hands to fall upon when my inner creativity awakens. 

and yes, of course i'm falling behind on my laundry, my to-do's and my house cleaning.  but when you let go, those things eventually fall in place, too.   

 “Sometimes it takes a good fall 

                                    to really know where you stand."           

                       - Hayley Williams