Ha! As I returned today to clear the cobwebs and compose a post, I found this little treasure...from almost a year ago!! I enjoyed looking back on it that I thought I'd go ahead and post it. So, there you go, you get two in one day!
ok. so now I know why they call owls wise. during my out of the ordinary morning run this morning, I was feeling not so wise as the sweat poured off my brow and i was certain a passerby could hear the thump of my heartbeat. I was wishing I was running at my accustomed time of 10 o'clock at night, understanding the wisdom of the nocturnal owl- at least in Florida summers. that was a mistake I won't make again for at least another two months! whew. smart water, please!!
it's a busy Saturday for our family...we won't mention the first event of the day (see above), and then to shower, wrap a birthday gift, switch the laundry, feed the dog, and rush out the door to be in time for an appointment with a "genius" at the apple store, all the while being prepared to not touch base at home again until the kids weary heads are heavily drawn to their pillows tonight. we are off to a family lunch, some shopping, then an hour drive to visit with beloved former neighbors before arriving at the two year old birthday party at 3:30. another whew! and no, the 90 degree weather doesn't help.
my mind has been full of things bigger than words this past week. things at home are changing daily and it keeps me on my toes. as a celebration of being on our toes, I taught my daughter how to do a releve, and how to say it. my three year old son continues to investigate his boundaries and climb to new heights for a different view of the horizon. he made the decision that he was too big for binky when he put on a large t-shirt and it didn't fall off. I thought this would be a household celebration, and it is, but it came with a price. he has not napped once in the past 23 days, and believe me, the boy's tired! I am searching for a new ritual come early afternoon. no matter how crazy and exhausting my mornings are, I used to be able to count on a solid hour and a half break while the kids napped to either lay down myself, straighten things up, or let my mind not think of one thing for once. that time is now gone. the worst part is that I didn't see it coming. in one day, it happened. BAM! no more naps! luckily, my youngest hasn't caught on to his new ploy, but that time will come.
...and that's why i never published it. it ended there. instead of attempting to finish a thought I started so long ago, i'm gonna leave it like that....because quite frankly, that's a mother's mind for ya....a fishbowl of unfinished thoughts. one day, when the kids are older, and we have more than five minutes to think for ourselves, we will return to those thoughts, unfold them and read them again....and instead of finishing them, enjoy the story that has been written since.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Why Hello There, Big Step.
If you were to look back on your life when you reached the end, do you think it would be fair to say that there were maybe two dozen big steps that you took throughout all of your years?
Pretend with me for a moment that is the case. First though, let me define what I mean by big steps. Life is filled with many kinds of steps....baby steps that accumulate until you realize the trail behind you, blindfolded steps that are not because of your own doing, backward steps, stepping-on-others'-toes steps, and steps where you are literally being dragged by the arm, toes digging in the dirt.
But the big steps I'm talking about are the ones where you swing your leg behind you in an attempt to wind up the momentum needed to perpetuate your foot as far forward as it will go. You won't know exactly where it is going to land, or what it is going to land on. It's not the tip-toe-along-the-garden-stone-path kind of steps where each foot is carefully and intentionally placed. And, yet, it's not the sprinting kind of step where you don't know exactly what you're landing on, but you're moving fast enough that it doesn't really matter. Big steps are usually anticipated, much contemplated, and yet usually require some external catalyst to launch. And at the same time, they are so big the ground underneath isn't quite in view yet.
Are you with me? Big steps are the hardest steps to take because they open the door to uncertainty. But each time you take a big step, you have the decision to look at it as an uncertainty or look at it as an open door to new horizons that you've finally mustered up the guts to walk through.
Prime examples of big steps are...moving out of your parents' house - to college, an apartment on your own, or across the country....saying "i do" to the one you love....deciding to create a new life and embark on the path to parenthood (sometimes that big step takes a long time for your foot to land, and other times that big step happens more like a kick from behind, but either way, it is most definitely one of life's big steps), accepting a job offer that takes you to an unfamiliar spot on the map, or like my big step today....pushing a door closed, letting the door knob click behind you, and giving up a piece of your security. Yes, most of the time big steps are open doors, but sometimes in order to open one, you have to close another -- and the decision to close certain doors can be a real tough one to make.
Today we got an offer on the house we lived in from the moment we stepped foot in Florida almost ten years ago. It was our open door to a new life as a young married couple....over 1,000 miles away from anyone we knew. All we had were a couple of old cars, a Penske truck full of possessions, and a key to our first real house. But this house had a huge backyard, a two car garage, manicured palm trees and our name on it. It was most definitely one of the top three most exciting big steps we had taken thus far in life. And that step has proved to be a good thing over these last ten years. We look back fondly on that step very often. It took a lot of courage to swing our feet forward on that one, but it seems the younger you are, a pleasant combination of naivety and curiosity creates the momentum needed, making the decision that much easier. That momentum is somehow harder to initiate the older we get.
So, to date, I'd say I've left a good trail of footsteps behind me already from the imprint of my big steps so far. Moving away to college, saying "yes!" to the "will you?" then "I do!" to the "do you?", deciding to change course in my career, moving over 1,000 miles away from all that we knew, making the decision to begin a family, moving again in order to accommodate for that growing family, starting my own company, and today...letting go of the physical evidence of one of my big steps.
One thing has accompanied me during each step. It would be impossible for me to move forward with any of these steps if it wasn't for my faith in God. I would second guess myself out of every single one of those steps, every single time. But with my faith, I know it's not really my plan, but my realization of His plan, and so I'll happily step every time.
Pretend with me for a moment that is the case. First though, let me define what I mean by big steps. Life is filled with many kinds of steps....baby steps that accumulate until you realize the trail behind you, blindfolded steps that are not because of your own doing, backward steps, stepping-on-others'-toes steps, and steps where you are literally being dragged by the arm, toes digging in the dirt.
But the big steps I'm talking about are the ones where you swing your leg behind you in an attempt to wind up the momentum needed to perpetuate your foot as far forward as it will go. You won't know exactly where it is going to land, or what it is going to land on. It's not the tip-toe-along-the-garden-stone-path kind of steps where each foot is carefully and intentionally placed. And, yet, it's not the sprinting kind of step where you don't know exactly what you're landing on, but you're moving fast enough that it doesn't really matter. Big steps are usually anticipated, much contemplated, and yet usually require some external catalyst to launch. And at the same time, they are so big the ground underneath isn't quite in view yet.
Are you with me? Big steps are the hardest steps to take because they open the door to uncertainty. But each time you take a big step, you have the decision to look at it as an uncertainty or look at it as an open door to new horizons that you've finally mustered up the guts to walk through.
Prime examples of big steps are...moving out of your parents' house - to college, an apartment on your own, or across the country....saying "i do" to the one you love....deciding to create a new life and embark on the path to parenthood (sometimes that big step takes a long time for your foot to land, and other times that big step happens more like a kick from behind, but either way, it is most definitely one of life's big steps), accepting a job offer that takes you to an unfamiliar spot on the map, or like my big step today....pushing a door closed, letting the door knob click behind you, and giving up a piece of your security. Yes, most of the time big steps are open doors, but sometimes in order to open one, you have to close another -- and the decision to close certain doors can be a real tough one to make.
Today we got an offer on the house we lived in from the moment we stepped foot in Florida almost ten years ago. It was our open door to a new life as a young married couple....over 1,000 miles away from anyone we knew. All we had were a couple of old cars, a Penske truck full of possessions, and a key to our first real house. But this house had a huge backyard, a two car garage, manicured palm trees and our name on it. It was most definitely one of the top three most exciting big steps we had taken thus far in life. And that step has proved to be a good thing over these last ten years. We look back fondly on that step very often. It took a lot of courage to swing our feet forward on that one, but it seems the younger you are, a pleasant combination of naivety and curiosity creates the momentum needed, making the decision that much easier. That momentum is somehow harder to initiate the older we get.
So, to date, I'd say I've left a good trail of footsteps behind me already from the imprint of my big steps so far. Moving away to college, saying "yes!" to the "will you?" then "I do!" to the "do you?", deciding to change course in my career, moving over 1,000 miles away from all that we knew, making the decision to begin a family, moving again in order to accommodate for that growing family, starting my own company, and today...letting go of the physical evidence of one of my big steps.
One thing has accompanied me during each step. It would be impossible for me to move forward with any of these steps if it wasn't for my faith in God. I would second guess myself out of every single one of those steps, every single time. But with my faith, I know it's not really my plan, but my realization of His plan, and so I'll happily step every time.
"The distance is nothing.
It is only the first step that is difficult."
-Madame Marie du Deffand
Happy stepping.
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